:: b r a c e d

A long time coming, but a time that has finally come was the anticipation of my getting my braces put on. It was a long two-year journey – due mostly because of insurance and monetary reasons – but finally, as of yesterday, the 19th of December 2017, I am officially BRACED face for the next two upcoming years of my life. Nervous about the additional procedures that I will have to endure to achieve this perfect smile – ranging from two lower teeth extractions to a lower jaw surgery to correct my, in less formidable words, janky overbite –, I am also excited, on the most middle of keys to see what this new journey will bring for me.

In the meantime, as I adjust to the new beaming Sun Rail in my mouth, I must take a minor humor moment to recognize, all the mishaps I’ve missed whilst without braces. First and foremost, the realization of how janky my teeth truly were, when I first got fitted for, set in as they began to cement the brackets onto my actual teeth and then set in the wire. Taking note of the theme park in my mouth, with the wire now laid into the brackets, it became all so clear that my teeth have been on rollercoaster mode for YEARS with dips, turns, crevices, gaps, stops, plummets, and all the like. It is at this point, once brackets are secured the metal wire of slow painful agony is placed, did I really begin to evaluate the true ROLE of my parent’s lives in my life. Which parent, was now the one to place the blame on? Which parent decided to grace me with a jawline fit for the golden era of the freak show carnivals prevalent in the early 1900’s? Which parent decided to grace me with janky teeth and then for majority of my life call it something that gave me “character?” Character my black behind! Nah, fam, my teeth out here looking like pre-Cardi B’s bag inheritance to fix her teeth. (By the way, that line in her song, Bodak Yellow, “Got a bag and fix my teeth… Hope you heauxs know it ain’t cheap,” now takes a on new light in my life. It is now my mantra.)

To add insult to injury, now that the braces are in place, my whole speech and sound of my voice has warped into Chris Brown’s lisp-having days when he first crumped onto the hip-hop, R&B, and pop world with his debut album. My enunciation and pronunciation has gone out the window. So, when you CASH ME OUSSIDE in these streets, talking about “YETH” instead of “YES” to answer a question, I probably should say “NO,” to, then do not be alarmed. Until, I learn how to RE-TALK, I will simply just sound like a toddler. Not, to mention, being that I am already blind as a bat, I will just have to embrace the role being called brace face and four eyes. Guess, it could be a lot worse. So, I’ll keep my complaining to a minimum.

Needless, to say, despite the good, the bad, and the ugly that come with having braces, I am slowly learning to see the beauty in them as well. It’s only been one day, but one thing, I can truly say, is that they haven’t stopped me from smiling. And if my smile was already good to me, it will be, in the next couple of years, GREAT.

I know, in the end, it will be worth the wait and journey. —

:: Post Rationalizing(s)

“You are a wonderful manifestation. The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible. There is nothing that is not you.”

― Thích Nhât Hanh ―